I don't care if the whatchamacallit day is over, the candy cane is MINE!!

The FBI and Me - Book 'em, Drano!

Groovin' - Back in high school people called me "The King Of Flunk"

Belief - No I haven't had anything to drink! Well, 10 beers...

Classic Bart Blackboard Quotes - Goldfish don't bounce. hehehe

Romance - Marge, we're getting some takeout and we're doing it twice!

Madness - Hmm, this homemade Prozac needs more ice cream...

The Truth About Mail - Hey Marge, wanna play Post Office?

A Close Call - Boy, was I worried!

A Bible Lesson - Moses didn't have nuthin' on me!

Oh Lisa - I think she thinks too much. Hmm, cola...

A Grave Injustice - I'm innocent, I tells ya!

No Worries - I say, if it's broke then it's time for a beer!

Raising Kids - I wrote the, um, written thingy on, you know, stuff

Profound Thoughts - Things that might help you through your daily life

A Conversation With My Brain - Just call me Professor Brainiac

Wisdom - Sharing some of my life experience with the kids

I'm Real Smart - I've been to college. Hmmm, beer.

A Christmas Carol - Watch out, Frankie, Homer is tuning up

Homer's Nitemare - The scariest experience of my life (shudder)

Ode to Beer - Ahh, beer, you'll never let me down

Pulp Fiction - What I, Homer J. Simpson, think

Serious Questions - Marge, where are my pants?

A Musical Interlude - Ahh, Choppin